The · Art · and · Science · of

This long and drawn out issue dmittedly wasn't started by someone whose identity we will hide behind the monicker "Nunal", this issue started even way before the invention of the .45 caliber pistol by the Americans (more on that in another blog... remind me). This all started when our Muslim brothers (and sisters) domains in Mindanao were annexed as part of the new "Philippines", allegedly by the US (again, blame the US for all our problems!). They say that's what started this whole thing. That the Muslims really didn't want to be part of this country since they had their own identity as part of the Sultanate of Sulu's territory. They say that Nunal just poured bio-ethanol over the embers.

The bio-ethanol Nunal poured, they say, was allegedly an attempt at peace (or a giveaway to shut these rebels up once and for all, you decide). A lot of people protested vehemently over the memorandum of agreement that was being proposed saying it would divide Mindanao, that it was unfair, that it was practically giving away parts of the country. Some commentator on one news channel I watched (I seem to be watching a lot of news now, for an Apathetic Atenean) mentioned that the MOA in question had a lot of "if's". IF the rebels agree to this MOA... IF the local plebiscite goes well... IF the appropriate laws are passed... IF there is a charter change... IF the national plebiscite goes by way of approving the constitutional modification... I wouldn't sign that MOA even if they promised me Mindanao and all of the Spratley Islands. There seem to be a whole lot of IFs involved here, and with those many IFs, I think I'd be better off playing Lotto or gambling my life savings in Las Vegas!

They say that the rebels are up in arms because the MOA wasn't signed. If  I were a rebel,  I would be up in arms if it were signed! It is plain and simple deception, much (or even more) as Nunal has been deceiving the rest of the Pinoys for the past 8 (going on 10) years! The tactic I see here is that Nunal throws the rebels a dud of a MOA, rebels go all jihad on people's asses (Nunal didn't really put in the CIVILIANS into the equation), she declares a "state of calamity" and after some time announces that "there is no way to supress the insurgency in Mindanao except to declare Martial Law (or some form of it)". It would still work, except that the media is broadcasting pictures of orphaned little babies and widowed women with anywhere from 4 to 12 young 'uns to raise. All Nunal has going for her is the standing orders to suppress any and all demonstrations (even peaceful ones) that challenge how she governs this land. (That's democracy in action for you).

The dude who was sitting in Nunal's chair before her (the one we'll call Action Star, for lack of a better term) had it right: negotiate from a position of strength. Then again what can you expect? Action Star is still the product of the Ateneo! Let me remind the non-Ateneans out there who are GREEN with envy to re-read the heading of this particular blog entry... NOTES FROM AN APATHETIC ATENEAN DOCTOR. I am allowed my biases as it is still a free country. I digress. Action Star had it right - negotiate from a position of strength, not go begging. That behavior is much akin to begging a thief who sneaks into your house to take your dining room furniture. Whoever suggested the MOA in the first place should be dragged out into the EDSA Shrine and shot via firing squad with full media coverage. All the headlines and the news broadcasts should read: STUPID IS AS STUPID DOES.  Unfortunately, there is nothing much Action Star, or the rest of us for that matter, can do about Mindanao right now except pray that the people involved gain some IQ points (enough to reach 90, minimum for Average IQ) and find a way to fix the problem.

The only solution I see right now is to consult, not with advisers and opposition, duh, but with the Sultanate of Sulu. The Sultanate has been unusually quiet about the issues raised, especially since the crux of the matter is "ancestral domain" to which they have the rights to, if anyone has. Whatever the Sultanate and the government decide on as a course of action should be announced and abided by all parties involved. Anyone who goes against that will be dragged out to the EDSA Shrine and shot... after being tied upside down... by his toes. This time, the heading will be: THIS ONE (or THESE ONES in case of plurality) WAS EVEN STUPIDER THAN THE LAST ONE.